Lesson 08 — The Family Principle

University Objectives… (Reviewed)
_________ the Word!
___________ the Word!
_________ the Word!

Semper Vivus: __________________   ____________

“This __________ is ___________!”

“University” Defined:
“An institution of ________________ at the highest ____________.”

Principle Eight (of 12)
The ____________ Principle

I can find ultimate purpose in life only by learning the essentials of family relationships found in God’s Word and anointed by God’s Spirit. I must learn God’s principles of authority and live in them continuously. I hereby resolve to choose this course of action, and in God’s power I consider it done.

Primary Passage…
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. — Ephesians 5:31-33 (NIV)

Foundational Premise…

“Premise” Defined:
“A proposition upon which an ___________________ is based or from which a ___________________ is drawn.”

Premise…
Ultimate spiritual ________________ and personal ____________________ in life for the follower of Jesus is best taught, _______________ and tested in God’s ____________________ of life — the family.

“Temper” defined:
To _________________ by the addition of a moderating element.
To bring to a ______________ consistency.
To strengthen through ___________________ or hardship.

Scripture:
By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus… we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. — Romans 5:1, 4 (MSG)

“Family” defined:
The most instinctive, _____________________ social group in man, especially the ______________ of man and woman through marriage and their offspring.
The ongoing ______________ of new life.
The _________ of all lasting relational development.

Timeless Insights
“Family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.” — Ogden Nash

Family Transformation Through Spirit Restoration
THE FAMILY: “A Walled City!”

Scripture:
Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls. — Proverbs 25:28 (NKJV)

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. — Proverbs 25:28 (NLT)

Five Characteristics of an Unruly Spirit
(A city without walls!)

1. Characteristic One:
A city without walls is _________________ to constant ____________.

Scripture:
My enemies would hound me all day, for there are many who fight against me, O Most High. — Psalm 56:2 (NKJV)

TAKE THE TEST… MY EVALUATION
Do I frequently lose my temper around my family or friends?
[ ] YES
[ ] NO
[ ] ________ OFF!

2. Characteristic Two:
A city without walls is a prime ____________ for a variety of ______________.

Scripture:
Consider my enemies, for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred. — Psalm 25:19 (NKJV)

TAKE THE TEST… MY EVALUATION
Do I have a problem at home (or work) with my attitude?
[ ] YES
[ ] NO
[ ]Only with _____________, who is a pain in the    ___________!

3. Characteristic Three:
A city without walls is in a constant ______________ of internal ___________________.

Scripture:
I lie awake, and am like a sparrow alone on the housetop. My enemies reproach me all day long; those who deride me swear an oath against me. — Psalm 102:7-8 (NKJV)

TAKE THE TEST… MY EVALUATION
Do I experience frequent “worry wars”?
[ ] YES
[ ] NO
[ ] Just because you can’t see __________  doesn’t mean they’re not out ____________.

4. Characteristic Four:
A city without walls suspects every _________________ as a possible ___________.

Scripture:
The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion. — Proverbs 28:1 (NKJV)

TAKE THE TEST… MY EVALUATION
Do I frequently judge others?
[ ] YES
[ ] NO
[ ] An __________ obviously thought up these ________________!

5. Characteristic Five:
A city without walls must devote most of its _________________ to plan for potential _______________.

Scripture:
I am weary with my groaning; all night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears. My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows old because of all my enemies. — Psalm 6:6-7 (NKJV)

TAKE THE TEST… MY EVALUATION
Do I generally find myself energetic and alert?
[ ] YES
[ ] NO
[ ] ________ ?

Talk Back Time: (Share what you’ve learned with your small group.)
Discuss why you think spiritual maturity and personal fulfillment in life are best taught, tempered and tested through family relationships. In what other ways do you see the family as the laboratory of life?

Pray Back Time: (Pray what you’ve learned in your small group.)
Pray for areas that you think your family (or a family you know) may be vulnerable to attacks from the enemy. Pray for the sanctity of the family in our culture today.

Seven Steps to Personal and Family Restoration

Scripture:
A healthy spirit conquers adversity, but what can you do when the spirit is crushed? — Proverbs 18:14 (MSG)

A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones. — Proverbs 14:30 (NLT)

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. — Proverbs 29:11 (NIV)

1. Step One… __________________ more than __________.

Scripture:
Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. — Proverbs 10:19 (NLT)

Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights. — Proverbs 18:15 (MSG)

2. Step Two… ___________ more than __________.

Scripture:
You’ll not likely go wrong here if you keep remembering that our Master said, “You’re far happier giving than getting.” — Acts 20:35 (MSG)

3. Step Three… _____________ more than ____________.

Scripture:
Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful. — Proverbs 16:20 (NLT)

4. Step Four… _____________ more than ____________.

Scripture:
And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you’re really serving God. — Ephesians 6:7 (MSG)

A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day. — Proverbs 15:13 (MSG)

5. Step Five…
__________________ more than _________________.

Scripture:
A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. Kind words heal and help… cutting words wound and maim. — Proverbs 15:1, 4 (MSG)

A wise person gets known for insight; gracious words add to one’s reputation… Gracious speech is like clover honey—good taste to the soul, quick energy for the body. — Proverbs 16:21, 24 (NKJV)

6. Step Six…
______________________ more than ________________.

Scripture:
Do all things without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining [against God] and questioning and doubting [among yourselves]… — Philippians 2:14 (AMPC)

Well-spoken words bring satisfaction; well-done work has its own reward… Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise… Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word picks us up. — Proverbs 12:14, 18, 25 (MSG)

7. Step Seven…
________________ more than ________________.

Scripture:
So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith. — Galatians 6:9-10 (MSG)

Eleven “Happy Family” Key “Be”s!

Timeless Insights
“A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” — George Bernard Shaw

1. Key “Be” One… (for families)
Be ____________________.

Scripture:
Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. — Genesis 2:22-24 (NKJV)

2. Key “Be” Two… (for husbands and wives)
Be ____________________. 

Scripture:
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. — 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NKJV)

3. Key “Be” Three… (for parents)
Be ____________________. 

Scripture:
If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church, good!… He must handle his own affairs well, attentive to his own children and having their respect. — 1 Timothy 3:1, 4 (MSG)

4. Key “Be” Four… (for parents)
Be ___________.

Scripture:
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you. — 1 Peter 5:10 (AMPC)

5. Key “Be” Five… (for parents)
Be ___________.

Scripture:
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. — Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. — Hebrews 12:10-11 (MSG)

Timeless Insights
“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.” — John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester 

6. Key “Be” Six… (for divided couples)
Be ______________________.

Scripture:
In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. — 1 Peter 3:1-2 (NLT)

7. Key “Be” Seven… (for children)
Be ______________________.

Scripture:
Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. — 1 John 3:18 (NLT)

Timeless Insights
“I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible… and I wish to thank my children for making it all necessary.” — Victor Borge 

8. Key “Be” Eight… (for couples)
Be _____________________.

Scripture:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” — Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)

9. Key “Be” Nine… (for all)
Be _____________________.

 Scripture:
Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. — Proverbs 3:27 (KJV)

10. Key “Be” Ten… (for all)
Be _____________.

Scripture:
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. — Proverbs 17:22 (NLT)

A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired. — Proverbs 17:22 (MSG)

11. Key “Be” Eleven… (for all)
Be ____________.

Scripture:
A fool is quick-tempered; a wise man stays cool when insulted. — Proverbs 12:16 (TLB)

Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city. — Proverbs 16:32 (NLT)

Bridle your anger, trash your wrath, cool your pipes… — Psalm 37:8 (MSG)

Look up these passages in your Bible, underline key phrases or put a box around them. Put a number “8” in the margin of your Bible by that passage and circle it. Then, go back to your primary passage (Ephesians 5:31-33) and in the margin write these verses beside it or at the bottom of the page. In this way you will begin to cross-reference your Bible.

• Ephesians 5:31-33
• Romans 5:1, 4
• Proverbs 25:28
• Psalm 56:2
• Psalm 25:19
• Psalm 102:7-8
• Proverbs 28:1
• Psalm 6:6-7
• Proverbs 18:14
• Proverbs 14:30
• Proverbs 29:11
• Proverbs 10:19
• Proverbs 18:15
• Acts 20:35
• Proverbs 16:20
• Ephesians 6:7
• Proverbs 15:13
• Proverbs 15:1, 4
• Proverbs 16:21, 24
• Philippians 2:14
• Proverbs 12:14, 18, 25
• Galatians 6:9-10
• Genesis 2:22-24
• 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
• 1 Timothy 3:1, 4
• 1 Peter 5:10
• Proverbs 22:6
• Hebrews 12:10-11
• 1 Peter 3:1-2
• 1 John 3:18
• Matthew 18:21-22
• Proverbs 3:27
• Proverbs 17:22
• Proverbs 12:16
• Proverbs 16:32
• Psalm 37:8
• Genesis 18:19
• 1 Samuel 1:27
• 1 Samuel 2:22-25
• 1 Samuel 3:13
• Psalm 32:8-9
• Proverbs 13:24
• Proverbs 19:18
• Proverbs 22:15
• Proverbs 23:13-14
• Proverbs 29:15-17
• Proverbs 31:10-31
• Romans 12:10-16
• Ephesians 3:13-21
• Philippians 2:1-4
• Colossians 3:18-24
• Titus 2:1-5
• 1 Peter 3:3-7
• 1 John 2:7-11
• 1 John 4:7-11

Principle Eight Reviewed: The Family Principle

I can find ultimate purpose in life only by learning the essentials of family relationships founded in God’s Word and anointed by God’s Spirit. I must learn God’s principles of authority and live in them continuously. I hereby resolve to choose this course of action, and in God’s power I consider it done.

Primary Passage…
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. — Ephesians 5:31-33 (NIV)

Talk Back Time: (Share what you’ve learned with your small group.)
Discuss ways you think might strengthen family relationships. Share one or two things that you recall are positive qualities that you saw in your family or strengths you carry with you from your family heritage.

Pray Back Time: (Pray what you’ve learned in your small group.)
Pray specifically for children (or grandchildren) or other young people you know, asking that God will lead them into healthy relationships (i.e., future marriage and an ultimate family). Pray for any you know who are just beginning a family.